Please Welcome David Christopher Escobar
On August 3rd, 2005 I had to deliver David Christopher Escobar due to preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. He is very small but is doing as well as can be expected. You can view his webpage at www.nwtexashealthcare.com, Click on Meet your family, enter the secret baby code: 08181981
Every four hours (at 4, 8, and 12) I get to go up to the hospital to see him. I am allowed to take his temperature, change his diaper, and talk to him. At 8pm I am allowed to hold him up while they set his bed to equal zero pounds, and then they weigh him. He cannot have much stimulation, so, even though I am welcome to stay there, I cannot touch him or talk to him except for at those times. So during the rest of the time I try to get rest.
Yesterday was a little scary because he had to have an echo-cardiagram done on his heart. Apparently, when a full term baby takes his first breath, it closes this space that is in their hearts. The nurse said it is normal for premies to have this hole remain open. Also, due to the ventilator my baby is on, they were concerned because his little lungs looked too large. They were worried that if they did not shrink back up they would tear, and my baby would have to have a chest tube. Well, after having the tests done, my baby thankfully has no hole in his heart, and his lungs are back to their normal size.
Today was a big day for my little David! His jaundice cleared up enough for them to take him out from under the bililights. Also, he will get his first taste of my breastmilk tonight! Up until now he has only been fed nutrients through an IV-like tube in his umbilical cord. They had to wait until they were sure that he had enough blood flow to his digestive system to where he would be able to tolerate breastmilk. So tonight, at 8pm, and every four hours after he will receive 1 cc of my breastmilk through a stomach tube. As long as his bowel movements and his stomach measurments read that he is tolerating this it will continue. They have to be careful, though, because if he isn't tolerating the milk it could tear his bowel.
It's amazing to me how much my heart melts when I see him. Oh my God I love him. From the little bitty blonde hairs on his head to his teeny tiny toes. I treasure every moment that I have with him. I love to let him hold my gigantic index finger with his litty bitty hand. I love to watch him work so hard to open his beautiful little eyes when I call out his name. I love to watch him stretch out his miniture feet when I change his diaper. Just looking at him makes me want to bawl my eyes out. But not of sadness, of love. I would give my very life right this moment to see him live a full life of happiness. I have never felt like this before. I guess that's why they say motherhood is so amazing.
I have pictures and will post them as soon as possible.
Pictures of David
These first two were taken on his first day, August 3rd, 2005
These were taken yesterday, August 7th, 2005
And here is a comparison, so you can see how tiny he really is:
David was able to digest all of his breastmilk that he was given last night. Nurse says he looks wonderful. I love him so much.
More pictures of my little man
Click here for a video taken of the baby!
First the update: today they did an ultrasound on David's brain just to make sure that there were no bleeds, and the preliminary report says there aren't any. It takes a couple of days to get the final report back, though. They will do another ulrasound when he is 21 days old, and then as needed after that.
David had a blood transfusion yesterday, the nurse said he will have many more, because of how little blood he has to begin with and then they keep having to take it out to test him, so they have to replace it. It made me nervous but they told me that the donors that they use are very reputable donors and since each transfusion is such a small amount of blood he will probably get all of his blood from one donor. That made me feel better.
Also, I finally asked the nurse today, straight out "Do you think that he will live?" And she told me that the first three days are the most critical, and of course he made it through those days like a breeze. Her exact words were "he probably will." That was a HUGE relief! I know she isn't a fortune teller, but it made me feel better that she had a positive outlook. She also knows about my history with my first son, so I know that she is pulling for him.
Some of these are almost identical and were taken on August 8th, 2005
Can you see his pretty eyes?
I'm addicted to my baby!
These were taken today, August 10th, 2005:
Daddy's high school ring:
The thing on his foot is to warm it up so hopefully they wouldn't have to stick him again to draw more blood from his little foot:
Today he had to go back under the bililights:
Mommy and David:
Holding Mommy's hand:
Mommy I'm naked!
This is it for today...this is ALL of the pictures that I have! :)
Here is his little diaper that I scanned, next to a quarter:
Here is the picture that the hospital put up on his complimentary webpage:
I think this is my favorite picture of him so far:
And this is the very first picture that I ever saw of him. It's terrible, I know. They really shouldn't show pictures like this to new mommies, I was worried sick:
Update on my sweetie
David is doing very well, they had to put him back on the insulin because his glucose was not stable. I asked if this was any sort of indication that he will be diabetic later in life and she said no, which was a relief for me because diabetes (sp?) runs rampant in my family. I called up there a minute ago though & they had taken him back off of the insulin, apparently things are more stable now.
He is still under the bililights today. His skin is so dry from being under the light, but as soon as he is able to come out from under it they will put some lotion on him.
He is still being fed 1cc of breastmilk every 3 hours. He still has not had a bowel movement (I will feel much better once he does) but the nurse doesn't seemed alarmed by it, so I try not to worry about that too much. (haha Cole I knew you would like that update!)
Oh and they had to change his stomach tube because it was in too far. They knew because when they suctioned his tummy before feedings they were getting back bile, meaning the tube had gone too far down into his bowel. They had to take the tape off of his face to change the tube, and the nurse warned me that sometimes when they change the tube their heartbeats and oxygen stats will drop. I couldn't do it, I had to go outside & wait. But Meme stayed & held his little hand while they did it. He did fine, and now you can see his little chin, which Mary Ellen pointed out looks just like his Daddy's! When they were finished his oxygen was at 100% (the best I've ever seen it) and his bowel sounds were better. Also at his next feeding there was no residual.
OH and oh my God. He yawned today. I about cried. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was SO freaking cute!! And earlier today he had the hiccups! He is so sweet!!
I feel like I am mourning Enrique all over again...
I know that more and more people are reading this blog to keep up with my new baby David. But I can't forget why I started this blog, which was to document my feelings throughout this ordeal. So you get to read my innermost feelings. Lucky you.
My beautiful baby boy is doing so well, he is growing stronger and gaining a tiny bit of weight every day. I love him from the bottom of my soul.
I miss my Enrique so much too. I should have two babies, why do I only have one, and the one that I do have is so fragile? Why can't I be one of the ladies who just pops babies out like nothing? On one hand it makes me feel so good that my baby David has a big brother who is an angel, but on the other hand it makes me angry. His big brother shouldn't be an angel. His big brother should be almost three years old right now. He should be potty training, he should be talking, and he should be anxiously awaiting the new addition to come home. Enrique looking out over his little brother from heaven simply ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. It isn't good enough. And it isn't fair. He should be teaching little David all the things that big brothers teach little brothers. But he isn't here to do that.
I know I should be thankful for David, and please believe me when I say I am ETERNALLY grateful for every single second that I have him. I love him literally with all of my heart, and he is the single most important person in my life. But I want to share that love with Enrique. And Enrique isn't here for me to do that.
When does this pain go away? I thought I was doing well. I thought I was healed. But apparently I'm not healed. Oh my God I hope that Enrique knows that I still love him every bit as much as I ever did, that love will never ever die. If I can do anything, it will be to have my beautiful son know about his big brother, and never ever forget that his big brother is watching out over him.
Little Ricky - I love you honey, so much. Nothing can ever take that away. Take care of your little brother for me, and be there for him during this rough time.
Well, I haven't gotten to see my baby since yesterday at 5pm, I miss him so much! I'll be going back at 2pm though.
I called the NICU a minute ago to make sure everything was okay, and the nurse says he is doing great!!
He had an IV inserted through his umbilical cord that they took out last night, and they replaced it with one in his arm. They are able to draw blood from this one, so he won't have to be stuck as much in his little heel. They will still have to stick him to draw his gasses and glucose, though, because there will be glucose going in through the IV in his arm and if they draw the blood from right there it will come back very high, and won't be an acurate reading. I'm so glad that they won't have to hurt his little foot anymore though. Daddy will be glad about that too.
David went down on his vent from 50 to 40 (I don't really know what that means, except that it's a good thing) and came out from under the light again today! Also, they will be upping his feedings from 1cc to 2cc every three hours.
Yesterday I think they told me that he had already gained back 1/3 of an ounce. He still isn't back up to his birth weight, but I am so happy that he is gaining, little by little! I wish there was some way that I could give him some of MY fat haha.
Well, I'll be back later on tonight with more pictures, I'm going to take the camera up there again today. He'll still look the same as he always has, but I still like to take LOTS of pictures of my baby!!
Let's see...the update for this afternoon...they went down on his vent again...which is wonderful. He is now at 35% oxygen, and 35 breaths per minute. Wonderful compared to yesterday at 50% oxygen and 50 breaths per minute. He had to have another blood transfusion, but again that is nothing to worry about, he'll have to have many over the next few months. And, as you see, he had his first bowel movement!!! I was so relieved to see that his digestive system is working like it should. And now we know for sure, because he has been pooping all day long! Also, they upped his feedings to 2cc/3hours, and he is tolerating them wonderfully. The new IV in his arm looks terrible but they said it was because he bled when they stuck him, and they put the tape over the blood to help it stop bleeding. They are supposed to change the dressing on it tommorrow. The IV that he has now goes straight up into his heart and can stay indefinitely, so they don't have to keep poking at him. I was worried about infiltration, but she said that it would go into an empty cavity next to his vital organs, and there would be no damage to his heart. They took him off of one of the sedatives because it wasn't compatible with another medicine that he was receiving, and now he is irritated! He cried and squirmed all day. But when I went in at 11pm he seemed to calm down as soon as I started talking to him! It was so sweet!
His little belly button:
His skin was so dry but they let me put lotion on it:
His first bowel movement since the feedings started!!!
Daddy seems to think he is telling everyone where to put it:
Poor baby is trying to cry but can't make any noise because of the tubes down his throat:
Holding Mommy's hand:
My sweet foot:
His arm looks terrible!
David's sweet hand!
The rest are too dark to see much:
And today was the first rain since David was born!!! Here are some pictures on the way to the hospital this afternoon from inside Lizzie's truck:
And at the hospital:
Good day for David
Today was a good day for David, but if you were to ask him, he probably wouldn't think so! They changed the bandage on his arm, and it looks so much better, but when they took the tape off of his arm he got real mad (you know that stuff hurts so bad!) but luckily it didn't tear his thin skin. And before they changed the bandage they gave him some medicine to help his blood clot so that it wouldn't bleed again.
They put him back on a sedative, because he has been so tempermental lately, and when he gets irritated it causes his oxygen & heartrate to drop. It breaks my heart because he cries, but he can't make any noise because of the tubes, so he just makes this pitiful face!
Also he has gained weight!! He is now up to 611 grams, which is equal to 1lb 5 1/2 ounces! (I had to ask!) So he has gained an ounce & a half past his birth weight, I'm so proud of him!! The nurse said that once they start gaining the like to see him gain 1/2-1 ounce/day, which seems like alot!
They also upped his feedings again to 3cc of breastmilk/3 hours. But when they suctioned his tummy before his 8pm feeding there was 1cc of breastmilk still in his tummy. I think it's too much, and I also think that's probably why he's so irritated, his tummy probably hurts! But she said that if there is residual next feeding they will go back down to 2ccs/3 hours.
Oh, and last night he pooped in the nurses hand! HAHA I told her "Congratulations, you're the first person he's ever pooped on!"
Today's pictures & Update
Not much new today...his weight today was 1lb 3 ounces, which his 2 1/2 ounces less than yesterday, so I don't know if he lost, or if one of the weights was wrong. He is up to 4cc/3 hours, and seems to be tolerating it well. There is a mathematical equation that tells them how much to feed him, based on his weight. Based on David's weight, he should be eating 12cc/3 hours, so they will go up one cc every day until either they are at that point or he doesn't tolerate it anymore. At that rate, he should put on weight fairly quickly. They will also gradually lower the nutrients that he recieves through the IV as they up his feedings. He is a little be less agitated today, but he still doesn't tolerate being touched very much. Other than that, everything is good!!
I got to hold him today while they changed his bedding:
Isn't this the most precious thing you have ever seen?
Mommy & David:
Some pictures of my little man:
I didn't get to update yesterday because my husband was off of work, therefore on the computer until I went to bed :( but things are good! Today he is up to 6 ccs of breastmilk every three hours. He seems to be tolerating it well!
Yesterday my little stinker pooped in my hand!!! I couldn't believe it! He already pooped in the nurses hand a few days ago, and I thought it was all good fun but WHY ME?? HAHA no really it was pretty gross. As soon as I took off his diaper, it came shooting out. EW. And next diaper change it took three diapers before he quit peeing! Little stinker doesn't want to go in his diaper! :) The nurses say he has attitude.
Oh and yesterday when he was crying, he actually produced tears! Oh, it broke my heart. I am amazed everytime something else on that little baby works, first the tear ducts...what next?
He had an xray on his chest yesterday to make sure his lungs were improving, and I don't know the results of that yet, but I will pass on the news as soon as I know.
Here is the picture I couldn't get to load the other day:
Today David got his first pacifier! To be perfectly honest, it makes me a little bit uncomfortable because it's so big, and they have to put it so far in his mouth. Also, he already has two tubes in his mouth, it seems a bit much to put something else in there, but the nurse says that sucking is good for him...
They did an xray on his tummy today because it looked a little bit swollen. I was concerned about that, too. Apparently it looked okay but they decided not to up his feedings today, so he is still at 6cc/3hours. If he tolerates that okay today they will go ahead and up his feedings tommorrow. They also did another xray on his chest, and that came back okay also.
Tonight David will go to his new home...instead of being in the flat bed he is in, he will go into an incubator. The nurse said they have to wait until they are more stable to go into that bed because if they have to get to him real quick in an emergency, it's harder to do so in the incubator. Also they can put a humidifier in the box so that he doesn't have to be under the saran wrap anymore. I'm glad that they think he's stable enough to go into the incubator.
David also got more blood today. This is his fourth transfusion! He looks so much better after getting blood, he isn't so pale.
Today sucked for me, though, because today is the first day that I am supposed to drive, so I go to get into my car to go see David and what do you know? I have a flat tire!! I guess I'm not destined to drive yet. I have a doctor's appointment tommorrow morning, Dr. Freeman wants to check my incision again to make sure everything is okay.
Here are today's pictures:
Getting his tummy measured:
About to get his diaper changed:
His first pacifier!!
David's pretty eyes!
Getting his temperature taken:
Time to go to sleep!
These were taken from my front window!
Happy 24th Birthday to Sam!!!
Wow...so much to catch up on!! Yesterday was my birthday, and I had a pretty good day. I had to wake up early & go to the doctor. Lizzie had to take me because I got a flat tire the day before. At the doctor I got weighed, and turns out I am 6 pounds below where I was when I got pregnant! I only gained one pound with him, and lost 7 when I gave birth. My blood pressure was 128/87. Then Lizzie & I went to Pet Smart where I got to pet the cutest kitty ever! (besides my cat, anyways) then went over to Memes....saw David at 11:30, found out that he did not have a good night the night before. His stats kept dropping & he was very sensitive. They dropped back on his feedings to 3cc/3hours. But he was better yesterday, and they went back up on his feedings 1/cc every time, and he is back up to 6cc/3hours again today. David also had another blood transfusion. After seeing David I had to go back home so that Javier could get my tire fixed. We went together at 2:30, 5:30 and 8:30 to see David. In between I went to Meme's where I got my birthday dinner: enchiladas!! They were delicious, and I have leftovers for tonight!
Today was back to normal for David, he is back up on his feedings but they are going to stay at 6ccs for now. And guess what???? Tommorrow, if David has a good day, I get to hold him!!! Like actually hold him next to me, in my arms. I am so excited I could cry!
Anyways, here are the latest pictures:
Sucking his thumb:
David's first view:
Today Javier's work threw him a baby shower!! Here are the pictures of what we got:
Thank you so much to everyone at Anderson's!!
*Edited 10/02/06* And here are is the pictures taken at his work:
I get to hold David today!!!
I am SOOOOO excited! I get to hold my baby for the first time today! I've held him up, arms stretched out, before, while the nurse changed his bedding & that sort of thing, but tonight I get to hold him, up against my chest!! They do this thing called Kangaroo Care. I don't know much about it except what I have read today on the internet, but it apparently is a very helpful technique. The nurse yesterday made me feel so good because she was talking about how much better David does when I am there. My baby loves me!!! :)
I will post again when I return to tell you all about it. I'm gonna cry!!
This morning the IV that went into David's chest (I think they call it a PCV line) infiltrated. Scared me to death. He was all swollen...but the swelling went away, the nurse says his body absorbed the fluids. Then, he pulled out the IV in his other arm. So when I went in tonight they were putting an IV in his head :( I knew that was a possibility, but it makes me sad. The nurse said that those IVs are actually better because they don't have as many pain receptors there, therefore it hurts less, but also they don't mess with them as much. The nurse had tried to put one in his foot, but he pulled that one out also.
David's stomach is a little bit discolored, and both nurses he had today ordered an xray on it to make sure everything is okay. After hearing about Leora's precious baby, David getting an infection in his intestine scares the hell outta me. So they withheld his 8:30pm feeding, but the xrays came back and nothing was wrong, so the will resume his feedings at 11:30pm.
I got to hold David tonight, for over an hour. His oxygen stat was 100 the whole time I held him, and he slept, well, like a baby! The nurse says that since he did so well I can hold him once or twice a week.
Update on David
Today wasn't such a great day for David. Twice today he pulled his feeding tube out, and it had to be reinserted. He still has the IV in his head, because the ones in his arm & leg both infiltrated. His little arm & leg are both so swollen, although the swelling did go down throughout the day. Also his stool has little blood clots in it. They sent it to the lab to confirm that it was blood, and it was positive. They said it could be because of anything from not tolerating the formula (I'm not producing milk fast enough, they're having to supplement with formula) to something called "neck" (sp?) that means that part of his bowel isn't getting enough blood flow, so the food sits there, rotting his gut. I'm praying that it's the formula thing. So for now, they are not feeding him, they are going to wait & see what the xrays from tommorrow say.
But, on the good side, little David is up to 1lb 10oz!!!! Can you believe it?? I didn't even know he had gained one ounce, and now he has gained 6 ounces!!
Guys, David has an infection. They don't know exactly where, or what it is sensitive to, but his blood work came back positive for infection, so he is on antibiotics. I have a sneaking suspicion it's from all of the IV's he's received over the last few days (ANOTHER one leaked, so they had to replace it again, this is like five or six). Also, he is on Necrotizing Enterocolitis precautions. He has a tube that is sucking everything out of his tummy. She said that they won't resume feedings until the fluid coming out is clear. Right now it's green. His tummy looks swollen and discolored, but other than that, he looks fine.
The nurse told me that babies often get infections. She said that it is very common, and most babies pull through without a problem. She said normally after a day or two on antibiotics they start to look and feel better. But she may have been saying that because I was crying my eyes out.
Here are the pictures I took of him while I was there:
Today was so much better!!!
David has been doing so much better since yesterday! The doctors say they might even start feedings again tommorrow! They put a little shirt on him today, and he is just the cutest little booger I've ever seen. I have pics, but can't post them tonight....will put them up tommorrow! I'm a little bit disapointed though because earlier the nurse told me we would be able to hold him tonight, so we showered & made sure not to wear any perfume or anything, and went up there, camera in hand...just so the stupid night nurse would say that he was too sensitive to hold!! She was stupid anyways, she wouldn't let me do anything!! She took his temperature, she put his diaper back on, etc. The other nurse, Carissa, lets me turn him over, lift him to weigh him, etc. Carissa would've let us hold him. Stupid nurse. :(
David is three weeks old today!!!
Today they started his feedings back! They started him back at 3cc/3 hours and will go up 1cc every other feeding (every 6 hours) until the get back to 6ccs. They also did another ultrasound on his brain to make sure there were no bleeds. It will be another couple of days until we get the results back but the nurse said that if there was something majorly wrong the guy would have told her. Also, they did another blood culture and if there is no more infection they will stop the antibiotics.
Three weeks old. I can't believe it!!! I never thought this would happen!!!
Here are some pictures...I still have some the other day that I will post if Javier ever emails me!!
Isn't this the cutest shirt you've ever seen???
Snug as a bug in a rug!!
More pictures of David!
David is doing well today, although he is very sensitive. They took him off the antibiotics because he has no signs of infections, and he is up to 7cc of milk! Go, David!! The will go up one cc every 12 hours...so at the 430am feeding he will go up to 8ccs!!
Pictures from the other day
I'm tired. I have no other words for it. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I sleep plenty, but motherly instinct wakes me up every three hours so I can call and ask about David. I don't know what I need. I really want to relax and go out with friends, but what kind of mother would I be if I went to the bar while my baby was in the hospital? And, God forbid, what if something happened to him while I was there? (I don't have a cell phone to be reached at) I know I shouldn't be so selfish, after all, I have a beautiful baby boy. I just want him home with me already! I feel like I am going to have an emotional breakdown. I cry ALOT. I mean really. And I can't blame it on pregnancy hormones anymore. It's only been three weeks. I have at least a couple of more months of this. What am I going to do? When will I get some sort of normalcy? How am I going to survive the next few months and still manage to be strong for my little boy?
Sorry, had to get this off of my chest.
As far as David goes, he hasn't had a good day several days. They replaced the oxygen tube to get rid of the air leak. He's been SO sensitive lately. They know it means something is wrong, but they can't figure out what, and they have done test after test to try and figure it out. I wish they would figure it out already so they could fix it!
David is improving today!
David is doing better today than he was yesterday. Yesterday he destatted everytime anyone even looked at him wrong! They had him on 100% oxygen, 50 breaths/minute all day yesterday until about noon today they tried to ween him down. They think he has another infection, so he is on antibiotics again. David eats 11cc's every three hours...and he weighs 1lb 11.5 oz now! Today they had to change out his sheets so I did get to hold him close to me and kiss his little forehead. After I held him (for not more than two minutes...if that!) he began to stat 100%...so they weened him down...and down...and down...by the time I left he was at only 80% oxygen!
But I got a letter in the mail last night from the Texas Department of State Health Services. It said:
"The Laboratory Services Section of the Department of State Health Services received a blood sample from your baby, which was analyzed in accordance with state law. Your baby was found to have an abnormal result on the thyroid screen. All babies are tested for five disorders because mental retardation or other complications can be prevented if treatment is started early in life. Your baby's test result shows the possibility of a thyroid disorder."
I'm not sure what to think of this right now....but the doctor told me they will be re-doing the test on September 2nd. It's weird because I got the same letter after Ricky was born.
Also, David had his 21-day routine ultrasound on his brain to make sure there were no bleeds, and there were none, so that is wonderful news.
Last night and today's pictures!
Here are the pictures from last night. They are a little bit dark because it was so dark in there, and I can't use a flash.
David loves his Aunt Amy!
Moving him to the big boy scale:
Today he was weaned down to 70% oxygen. He gets corn oil, caffeine, and sodium in his formula now for calories, respiratory help, and deficiency respectively. He is also given lipids directly by IV. It's working, too, because after weighing 1lb, 11.5 oz last night, he weighs 1lb 13oz today!! He's getting so big! I was comparing pictures the other night. I hadn't realized it, but he really is growing. You can't hardly even see his ribs anymore, you used to be able to just look at him and count them! Oh, and he is 13.5 inches now, he's grown a whole inch! Here are today's pictures:
The wanted to keep him on his tummy all day today because he does so much better....so we had to put his diaper on backwards!! It was so hard to do!
Hurricane Katrina is said to be the second worst hurricane to hit the United States...EVER! I'm so scared for the people in New Orleans...I'm hoping that everyone is safe.
It makes me think...if a hurricane was to hit Amarillo today (I know it'll never happen, but still) I couldn't leave. I just couldn't. I couldn't leave David here...and so I would stay, even if it meant losing my own life in the process.
Another step back for David
They are calling David "critical" now...he couldn't keep his oxygen stats up, they kept dropping in the forties, and the nurse had to bag him four times. They put him on what they call a high rate ventilator. She said they did an xray on his lungs to see what the problem was and he has little bitty air pockets in the tissue of his lungs. She said it looks like broken shards of glass on the xrays. So the high rate vent shakes him (he's actually shaking - when I walked in I thought he was having a seizure or something) to try to get the air pockets out. When I got there, his oxygen was in the seventies, when I left it was 87. It is normally in the nineties. They also have an art line in his foot, to constantly monitor his blood pressure and to draw labs from, so they don't have to keep sticking him. Apparently while I was there, the gasses in his blood improved, but it's still touch and go.
I have never prayed so hard in my life. Please help me.
Well, last night David got blood (his NINTH transfusion), some medicine that temporarily parylizes him, and a catheter to make sure he still urinates. He's still on the vent, but it considered critical but stable, which makes me feel better. Hopefully, he will get off of the high frequency vent within the next day or two, and go back to the normal vent. When I was at the hospital his oxygen saturation was 91, and they are telling me that his blood gasses are getting better each time. He has another xray at 5pm. The last few xrays have improved, one of his lungs is still whited out, but she didn't say anything about the "glass" like substance in his lungs, so I'm assuming that's improving also. It's still scary, and I will feel better after he gets back on the regular vent.
My Birth Story
So I know it's a little bit late, but here is what happened.
I went into the hospital for the second time on July 28th due to an ultrasound showing oligohydramnios, which is low amniotic fluid. They were also concerned about the blood flow to my baby. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia, which I knew was coming, due to my history of the illness. I also expected to get HELLP syndrome, which stands for Hemolysis, Elevated Liver, Low Platelet. Immediately upon getting in the hospital I was given steriod shots. Two of them, 24 hours apart. They hurt real bad but I knew that was what was needed for my baby to have a good start.
The hospital stay was uneventful and long until the beginning of August. One morning I woke up with a burning sensation in my stomach, like the sensation you get when you are STARVING. It was very early in the morning, about 4am, so I ate a banana that my family had brought me previously. Within minutes I had a terrible stomach ache, and experienced nausea. The nurse called the doctor to get some anti-nausea medicine, but I vomited not long after that and felt fine, so she cancelled the order. The same thing happened at breakfast time, and again at lunch time. The doctor was concerned that it was my gallbladder, and the nurse even said that when she was pregnant she experienced the same feelings and it was her gallbladder. I was scheduled to have an ultrasound on my gallbladder the next day. That wasn't going to happen. I was constantly getting blood drawn, they were watching my liver enzymes. They were also measuring my urine due to fear of my kidneys failing.
The last few days in the hospital are a blur, due to the magnesium I was put on, but I remember August 3rd, at least the morning....I had been on Magnesium for at least 24 hours by that time. The nurses woke me up, early. I asked them how my blood work came out, and they told me the devastating news, they were going to have to deliver me due to my blood pressure reaching stroke levels, and my kidneys & liver shutting down. I was scared to death. I was only 26 weeks, 6 days at that point. My first son was born at 27 weeks, 2 days, and he only survived for three days due to severe prematurity, so you can only imagine what I was feeling. I was never scared for my own life, even though my family told me later that I was very very sick. I was scared for my baby.
I told the nurses that I hated to be a b*tch about this, but I needed to see my baby as soon as possible. See, with my first baby I wasn't allowed to see him except for twice before he died. I couldn't allow that to happen again. They assured me that I would be able to see him as soon as I was able to.
I called my husband, but I wasn't able to get ahold of him (the phone never wakes him up!) so called my grandmother and told her I was about to have the baby, and to contact Javier. The nurse came in to put an arterial line in my right wrist. Another nurse said to me "I'm going to give you some medication, and you aren't even going to care what she is doing over there." And I didn't.
My sister came in the room, and told me she loved me. I started to cry, and didn't stop. I remember being rolled into the operating room, getting my belly scrubbed with iodine. They told me that because of the asprin I had been on due to fear of blood clots they were going to have to put me under general anesthisia, instead of giving me a spinal. I was crying. Hard. I was worried about my blood pressure, but I couldn't stop crying, I was so scared. I remember all the doctors and nurses running around me. One woman told me not to worry. I remember being worried that they were going to put the tube down my throat before I was out.
They introduced me to the NICU nurse who would be taking my baby to the NICU nursery. The last thing I remember before I was put out was crying and telling that woman to take care of my baby. I delivered a baby boy at 8:24am on August 3rd, 2005.
The next thing I remember was the nurse pushing on my stomach. They have to do that to make sure that your uterus shrinks back down to it's normal size. I immediately asked about my baby. She told me that his immediate apgar scores were a 2, but five minutes later he scored an 8. She reassured me that he was beautiful. My husband came in and held my hand. I fell back asleep. All I remember for the rest of the day was sleeping on and off, and my family coming to visit me. My Mom and little sister came into town. Everyone got to see my baby, except for me. All I saw was a blurry picture of him. My throat hurt so bad. I kept demanding to see my baby but because of the magnesium I was not allowed.
My husband and I had not even discussed names. My poor baby lived the first entire day of his life without a name. It wasn't until the next day that we decided on the perfect name, David Christopher Escobar.
Finally, the next morning, the nurse let me go see my son. And he was beautiful, like I knew he would be. He was hooked up to every machine imaginable, but he was kicking around, and he looked so alive! It was at that point that I realized again what my purpose in life is. I have loved him since the day I found out I was pregnant. But when I looked at my 1 lb, 4oz baby, and saw in him a will to live that I have never seen before, I fell deeper in love than ever.
I hurt, bad, but I got up as often as was allowed to go see my son. It was such a long walk down to the NICU from Labor and Delivery, but that long journey was well worth it. The next few months are going to be physically and emotionally exhausting, like the long walk I had to make to see my beautiful son. But when I get to take him home one day I will realize how well worth it every trip up there was.
David is having another tough day.
This morning I got my first call from the NICU. They had to take him off of the high frequency vent because his blood pressure was dropping and it was no longer working. They put him back on the regular vent. The problem with that is that the pressure they have to use to make his lungs stay open could possibly make his lungs collapse. This morning his oxygen saturation was in the 50s, so they called me to come up there. I went up there in a daze. When I got there the doctor pulled me aside and told me that his lungs were very close to collapsing, and if that happened they will put a tube in his chest. She told me that he was extremely critical and we could lose him. I've been crying all day long again. While I was there his oxygen saturation slowly worked it's way up to the low 90's, and his blood gasses improved some. The doctor said she was a little bit more optimistic now but she didn't want to get to excited yet. He is extremely swollen due to retaining so much fluid (he hasn't had a wet diaper in several hours now) and his pottasium levels are very high. I came home for a little while to rest, and to recruite more prayers for David. So, if you read all of this, please continue to pray for my baby during this uphill battle.
Whew, what a day!!
I'm seriously glad it's over. With David's issue, and then the family drama on top of it, I am seriously wiped out.
Update on David: his oxygen saturation is low to mid 90's, and they are saying that the risk of his lung collapsing is as minimal as possible, seeing as though he's still on a vent. The only problem now is he's SO swollen, because he's not urinating all the fluids that he's recieving (he's on at least 10 medications, all drips). His pottasium levels are too high also, which contributes to the swelling. So they put him on an insulin drip to try to get rid of that, but they said it might take a couple of days to see a difference there. I just talked to the nurse, and she said that he's actually doing better tonight than last night. So I am going to try to get some rest tonight.
But first I have to tell a funny story. The receptionist at the NICU scared the CRAP outta us tonight. We went up there a little while ago, and buzzed in at the door. She answered, and we identified ourselves and who we were there to see. She said "OK. Hold on a minute, and I will come and get you." Uh oh. They normally just let us right in! Then about two seconds later, a doctor-like person came out the door. Javier and I must have looked terrified!!! He looked at us kinda strange, and said "Did you push the button?" Whew!! I thought he was coming out to tell us bad news!!! He probably thought "what the hell are these people looking at??" LMAO.
So I buzzed them again and asked them if there was something wrong with my baby. She, thankfully, said no, that there was a new baby in our room (only 24 weeks) and all the doctors and everyone was in there, so we couldn't come in yet. OMG....I was about to faint! I was shaking and everything, I guess as a result of adrenaline. So we waited out in the lobby for about an hour, and finally left because they were still busy with the other baby. When I got home I called and apparently had just missed the nurse coming out to get us. So...I didn't get to see David tonight. But the nurse said she'll call me as soon as anything changes.
He weighed in at 1 lb, 4oz, and was 12.5 inches long.
Here's his story.